Dear Jill Amy,

I recently went through a very trying time and was deeply hurt by someone I love.
I want to forgive them, but have no idea how. Can you help me?

Signed, DL from Eugene Oregon

Dear DL from Eugene Oregon,

We have said many times that forgiveness is as much, maybe more, for the person who wants to forgive as it is for the person who will receive forgiveness.

Forgiveness honors what is whole and good in your heart. It is less about the other person for no one can know how another will feel or respond. But forgiveness is your birthright. You can choose to forgive or not to forgive, but in doing so we ask that you make your choice with awareness and therefore wise for self.

What will hurt you more? Will it be to stay bottled and closed to what forgiveness will offer? Or will it be to feel free from the love that you can find in your heart.

Many people believe that forgiving someone no matter the transgression is a way to condone what was done. But this is not what forgiveness is. Forgiveness is a tool to find a deeper love. To find deeper meaning in self. To understand that no one is without the ability to forgive.

Is your heart cold when you think of this other? Is it full of resentment, anger, harsh words that cannot heal you? What one does to themselves is far worse than what one can do to another and so healing starts with you.

Ask for help in forgiving. Allow yourself to understand that you too at times have hurt others. That you too at times could hurt another. That you too at times have had thoughts that would need forgiving if you were to act. And also to know that humans, as you are one, are made of so much of what is contradictory. For perhaps you imagine you could never be or do like another who has hurt you, but there in lies your imagination. For no one can know what is in the heart of another.

Mistakes are made. Forgiveness is a way to understand what is best for all. Forgiveness brings love. We are not saying this is an easy task, but for those who spend time feeling what forgiveness can offer – all know how forgiveness can heal.

It is better to be with LOVE than what might feel like anything that goes against that. And forgiveness, like other practices will bring more LOVE to you and the world.

Namaste and blessings on your path,

Cards that inspired this reading:
Seven Of Swords, Temperance, Wheel Of Fortune, Queen Of Swords, The Empress, King Of Swords, The World, Eight Of Pentacles, Justice, Five Of Swords, Knight Of Wands.

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